I remembered how long I had planned this evening as I lit a few candles and began to run the water. The sound of the rushing water always calmed me. I watched the water flow gently as I added some bath crystals. That was a mistake. They were peach scented. His favorite. As soon as the sweet aroma filled the room I began to tear up again. I sat down on the edge of the large bathtub and composed myself. I bent down and unclasped my new black velvet heels and placed them on the toilet seat. I walked over to the sink and took off the diamond earrings my friend had bought me for my birthday and unclipped my necklace and put it side. I took a moment to glance at my wedding ring. Two tiny dolphin holding a tiny amethyst agate stone. A single tear rolled down my cheek as I remembered the day Ramos placed it on my finger. I unclipped my hair and let it fall down over my shoulders to the small of my back. I had been growing it for years after he asked me to. He had been doing the same only he. .. What are you going to do now?"I laughed. "Beats me!" I said. "This is kinda sudden!" It's a tough racket," Wainwright agreed."I guess I'm through, at the tender age of twenty-three," I said. "Goddamn, Dewey! This really sucks, big-time! I didn't get an inkling! Nothing! Shit, I was playing in the Big Leagues a few fucking days ago!" It's rough, Freddie, I know!" Do you agree with... Corky? With the Orioles' brass?... Do you think I just haven't got enough talent to make it?" Freddie, judging baseball talent isn't something that's easy to do. But listen, Kid, you had to know you were a fringe guy. You were drafted late. No bonus. No pop in your bat. You're not hitting for average. The tools aren't there, Freddie. You've got some range at shortstop, and a real nice arm, throwing from the hole, but that's not enough, all by itself... So, yeah, Kid, I gotta tell you, I don't disagree with the decision to let you go." It's hard to take, Dewey. Real hard!" It always is, Kid." Fuck! I.
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